One Week In | lostconfessions's Blog

So, have completed my first full week in 2013.

It has been...OK. No major problems or issues. But not having loads of fun either. Its been a bit dull.

I got a brief text from my "ex." I took the chance to apologise to her for the way I left things, and to wish her well for the future. I'm glad I got that chance at least. We havent spoken since. Needless to say, I am feeling lonely as heel right now - that big gaping hole is still there. But at least I know that if we never speak again, I got the chance to say a proper goodbye to her. I did love her, after all.

My mission to change myself continues at a snail's pace. I am making headway on some things. I have managed to cut back on my beer intake, and I am keeping up my efforts to take a walk everyday. I am trying to keep myself a bit more clean and tidy, and that is working too. So far, I have managed to be a bit more responsible when it comes to spending, and I have cleared a little bit of my debt.

The only thing I am failing at is managing my sleeping patterns. But it is SO HARD. My body doesnt like long periods of wakefullness, nor does it like long periods of sleep. If I slept the way I wanted to, I would wake around 10 AM. Go to bed around 3PM and have a mid-afternoon nap until 6 PM. Then I would stay up until about 5 in the morning. I still get my 8 hours sleep a day, although the hours are wierd.

I am trying to take my 8 hours sleep all in one go. But it is tough. I wake at 7AM to go to work. In the middle of the day, I suffer from major lag. All I want to do is nap. And when I get home around 6PM, I am dog tired - so tired I am ratty and cant focus on doing anything. This tiredness lasts till about 9PM, when - all of a sudden - I feel wide awake again. And I could go to bed and toss and turn for hours.

I dont know how I am going to break this cycle. I far prefer short, deep naps, than having one long sleep. I dont know why. I feel far more refreshed after a nap. Yet I could go to bed and sleep for 8 hours and wake up tired. It is so odd.

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Previous Posts
The Slab, posted February 23rd, 2013
Troubles, posted February 23rd, 2013
Learning How to Say "No", posted January 10th, 2013
One Week In, posted January 8th, 2013
An Experiment in Change, posted January 3rd, 2013
Dealing With Break Up, posted January 2nd, 2013
Getting Rid of Stuff, posted December 30th, 2012
OMG, posted December 29th, 2012
The Cure for Depression, posted November 16th, 2012
The Anatomy of Depression, posted November 16th, 2012
What Does Unlucky Mean?, posted November 13th, 2012
Unlucky Stars, posted November 13th, 2012
Happy, posted October 23rd, 2012
2012 so far..., posted October 12th, 2012
Cost/Benefit..., posted October 12th, 2012
Realisation, posted October 10th, 2012
I wish I could stop thinking, posted September 28th, 2012
Emptiness, posted September 27th, 2012
Letting Go, posted September 24th, 2012
Positivity, posted September 19th, 2012
Change, posted September 18th, 2012
Chameleon, posted September 16th, 2012
Visualisation, posted September 15th, 2012
A Further Development, posted September 12th, 2012
The Simple Truth, posted September 11th, 2012
Why am I Hurting So Much?, posted September 11th, 2012
Fall Out, posted September 9th, 2012
Come Down, posted September 8th, 2012
/ragequit, posted September 8th, 2012
Insane in the Membrane, posted September 7th, 2012
Lost, posted September 6th, 2012

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