One Week In | lostconfessions's Blog

So, have completed my first full week in 2013.

It has been...OK. No major problems or issues. But not having loads of fun either. Its been a bit dull.

I got a brief text from my "ex." I took the chance to apologise to her for the way I left things, and to wish her well for the future. I'm glad I got that chance at least. We havent spoken since. Needless to say, I am feeling lonely as heel right now - that big gaping hole is still there. But at least I know that if we never speak again, I got the chance to say a proper goodbye to her. I did love her, after all.

My mission to change myself continues at a snail's pace. I am making headway on some things. I have managed to cut back on my beer intake, and I am keeping up my efforts to take a walk everyday. I am trying to keep myself a bit more clean and tidy, and that is working too. So far, I have managed to be a bit more responsible when it comes to spending, and I have cleared a little bit of my debt.

The only thing I am failing at is managing my sleeping patterns. But it is SO HARD. My body doesnt like long periods of wakefullness, nor does it like long periods of sleep. If I slept the way I wanted to, I would wake around 10 AM. Go to bed around 3PM and have a mid-afternoon nap until 6 PM. Then I would stay up until about 5 in the morning. I still get my 8 hours sleep a day, although the hours are wierd.

I am trying to take my 8 hours sleep all in one go. But it is tough. I wake at 7AM to go to work. In the middle of the day, I suffer from major lag. All I want to do is nap. And when I get home around 6PM, I am dog tired - so tired I am ratty and cant focus on doing anything. This tiredness lasts till about 9PM, when - all of a sudden - I feel wide awake again. And I could go to bed and toss and turn for hours.

I dont know how I am going to break this cycle. I far prefer short, deep naps, than having one long sleep. I dont know why. I feel far more refreshed after a nap. Yet I could go to bed and sleep for 8 hours and wake up tired. It is so odd.